The day before she told him she liked him and now she was in his bed. What for most girls would have been a dream come true, for Ga Eul was a nightmare. She was terrified, afraid she wouldn’t be able to stop him, but she didn’t want to cry.
Crying meant defeat and that was what Yi Jeong wanted: to hear her surrender, her begging.
He was lowering down to her, his body completely pressed on hers to stop her from moving. When she turned her face to avoid being kissed, he just chuckled and went for her neck, breathing in her hair, like he was savoring its scent. Their legs were intertwined and even though she wanted to keep fighting, she had to stop when she realized that all she was doing was arousing him even more.
His right hand had reached the end of her sweater and was sliding under it, to touch the bare skin of her waist. His fingers were cold and she suppressed a moan that could have been misunderstood for a cry of pleasure. She certainly didn’t want to make him think she was enjoying this.
Ga Eul knew what would come next, now that his hand was touching her skin and the thought scared her: she had to do something before it was too late.
But what to do? He seemed completely crazy, like some inner beast had suddenly come to the surface. She needed to make him listen to her, to stop just for some moments, so that his mind could control again.
As much as she hated it, maybe the best way was indeed to beg him. If Yi Jeong was just trying to scare her, and not actually go through with it till the end, he was going to stop if she gave him what he wanted.
I don’t have much time, Ga Eul thought frenetically, watching him raise again to stare at her. His gaze was dark with passion and the thin line on his lips showed that he had no intention of letting her turn her head again.
“You really are a coward then.” she whispered an inch from his descending lips.
Damn, great job Ga Eul, she mentally slapped herself, now he will be even angrier. Wasn’t I supposed to be begging him?
But deep in her mind she knew she couldn’t. Begging him meant to realize that he was serious, that he really wanted to hurt her, that she misunderstood him all the time they spent together. It meant that all their memories together were fake like their dates.
“The great So Yi Jeong is desperate enough to force himself on a girl? When he can have hundreds?”
He stopped and just stood above her. His right hand left her waist and went to cup her face, playing with her hair. An absent part of her mind noted that he really liked her hair and congratulated herself for her cherry shampoo choice: if he was touching her hair, he wasn’t touching something else. She found she could breath better now: he had adjusted himself over her still keeping her in place, only now most of his weight was sustained by his elbows.
“Are you trying to distract me?” He murmured, his voice so husky she could barely hear him.
“Is it working?” She replied, looking at him straight in his eyes.
“Maybe.” He still wasn’t moving, but she felt he was starting to relax. She dared to hope the worst was over.
“Ga Eul yang,” he called after some minutes of silence in which they remained perfectly still, just looking at each other and slowly breathing in and out. “Why can’t I scare you? Why aren’t you crying? Most girls would be begging me to stop by now. Or they would give in and accept it, just for the privilege of sleeping with me. Why are you so different?”
“Because I’m stronger than you think. And like I told you yesterday, I’m different from those other girls. I may not know everything about you, but I still know you better than any of them.”
He was still staring at her, caressing her every feature with his eyes and she kept her voice and gaze carefully neutral, still looking for the faintest sign that he would assault her again.
“To me, you’re not So Yi Jeong, the famous potter, the heir of the So family. You’re just Yi Jeong sunbae. I don’t care about your family name or how much money you have. I care about you, not your background.”
That hurt like hell. One moment he was trying to undress her and the second after, she was stripping his soul. Just with a few words.
Her eyes still showed no fear and Yi Jeong mentally sighed, thinking that maybe they would never do. The country bumpkin had won the round.
Ga Eul looked up at her hands, still pinned on the bed. “How about you let go?”
“Are you going to run?”
Yi Jeong slowly let go of her hands, but remained over her until she started staring at him with a questioning look.
“I like staying like this.” He explained, only to chuckle when she threw daggers at him with her eyes. He got up, immediately missing the warmth of her body beneath his and sat on the floor, his back on the bed.
He felt empty, deprived of any energy, like he just survived a typhoon or something like that. He looked at his hands and suddenly hated them. In just one evening he had used them to hit his own father and to hurt a helpless girl. Well, no. Ga Eul yang was not helpless at all.
What have I done, Yi Jeong thought burying his head in his hands. What was I thinking to do something so out of line?
He didn’t even notice Ga Eul had risen from the bed until he saw her sit on a chair, near the door. She was looking at him with calm eyes, but Yi Jeong could see her hands were grasping the soft fabric of her skirt.
He should congratulate himself, he managed to scare her, even though she would never admit it. Hurting her, that was the goal, wasn’t it? So why was he feeling so awfully bad about it? And why was he suddenly thinking that he almost never saw her in something else than a skirt? Well, if one didn’t count those shorts in New Caledonia… but he wasn’t supposed to remember things like that. She wasn’t supposed to be imprinted so much in his memory, to affect him so much. It was so wrong, on so many levels that Yi Jeong couldn’t even start to enumerate them. And most of all, thinking about her, for some reason, seemed to make him recall Eun Jae as well. And it hurt.
“I think we should talk.” she quietly said, snatching him away from his strange line of thoughts.
She wanted to talk to the man who almost raped her? That girl was really fearless.
“Are you waiting for an apology?” He asked. He hadn’t meant to sound ironic, but maybe it was what she perceived, because she narrowed her eyes.
“I suppose hearing a F4 apologize would turn the world upside down,” Ga Eul replied with sarcasm, “so I’ll be content with a simple explanation. What was in your mind this evening, sunbae? First you drag me here, then you beat your father up, then you try to…” she hesitated while lowering her eyes, but he could see the blush that was rising to her cheeks.
He was sure she wasn’t thinking about the word “rape”. Yi Jeong knew she was recalling the moment where his fingers were on her bare skin, and when they were so close he could have kissed her and the feeling of their body pressed to each other. Just reminding this was enough to arouse him again, but this time he managed to control it.
He had done enough mistakes for one night, he couldn’t afford to keep up. Right now she was willing to try to sort all out by talking, but he knew that if he attacked her again, it would be over and he would never see her again. Or anybody else, because his friends and Geum Jan Di would kill him.
“I can’t do it now. This whole evening, it was crazy.”
Ga Eul looked at him, noticing he looked like he was about to break down: his eyes were tired and his expression showed guilt and pain.
“You’re asking for a rest you don’t deserve after what you did.” She harshly said.
“Fine then.” Ga Eul stood up, still staring at him. “But you will have to do something in exchange.”
“What do you want?” Yi Jeong couldn’t understand what she was aiming for. All he knew was he needed to think, to let this cursed night pass and see a new sun rise. Maybe tomorrow he would be able to think more straight.
“This night you’re not allowed to drink, to go to a club or to look for a woman. You’ll stay here or go home, as you please, but you’re going to be alone and sober. It’s time you start to grow up and you can’t do it while wasting yourself.”
Yi Jeong sprang up, glaring at her. “Hey, who do you think you are to order me around like this?”
“You owe me,” she simply said. “Just promise me and I will go home and let you be.”
“And if I don’t?” He wasn’t going to surrender like that. He wasn’t thinking about going to a club or looking for a woman, but damn, he needed to drink.
“If you don’t,” her eyes fired up again and he knew he was in trouble “I’m going to call Woo Bin sunbae and ask him to come here and then you can explain to us both what happened tonight. I’m sure he will be interested.”
Now he was starting to remember why he always thought she was the most irritating woman he ever met. Not to mention she was dangerous. He was almost scared by the instinct she was showing in hitting all his weak points, she knew that among his friends Woo Bin was the closest to him, the one he never wanted to disappoint.
“How can you know if I will keep my promise or not?”
“I know you will. Because I trust you.”
That damn, silly, sweet, charming country bumpkin. He really hated her.
“Fine,” he sighed. “I promise.”
She nodded with a slight hint of a smile on her lips and Yi Jeong felt again the need to hug her tightly and kiss her. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew he had to.
“Thank you. Goodnight Yi Jeong sunbae.”
“Goodnight Ga Eul yang.”
He followed her at a respectful distance and stood there for some more minutes after his family car disappeared from sight taking her away from him.
“Goodnight white angel.” he whispered in the cold night.