The gentle golden light, spread by several spotlights on the ceiling and walls, was illuminating the room, creating the soft atmosphere which was perfect for that bedroom purpose.
Yi Jeong was holding Ga Eul without uttering a word. She once tried to lift her gaze to look at him, but he didn’t let her, pressing a hand on her hair to keep her face on his shoulder and tightening his grasp.
He still couldn’t understand what had just happened. Why did he do something so wrong, so insane? He felt guilty and dirty, less than a man, no better than a hyena. He didn’t love his father, he lost the hope to have a normal family many years ago, but he never wished to hurt him. Not before that evening.
Finding him in his room, that he expected. Forcing him to go, that he knew too. The way he looked at Ga Eul… he sort of planned it, by bringing her there. What he could have never expected was his own reaction. His father just brushed her chin! It wasn’t like he embraced her or worse, kissed her. It was a chin. A chin!
He suggested sharing her, and Yi Jeong’s mind had gone down its own track, a path in which Ga Eul yang was in his bed, within the silk sheets, her arms stretched out to him, her lips ready to receive his kiss first and then cry out loud his name, this time really waking the whole Seoul up.
The sheer thought of her father laying a finger on her or just looking at her with that lustful glance, had been enough to set him on fire. How could he dare? Didn’t he know she was out of his league, now and forever? Didn’t he know she was his? Did he want to take and ruin her too, like he did with his mother, his brother, his whole family? Was Yi Jeong’s life really condemned just because that bastard existed?
He couldn’t even remember the fight, to be honest. His mind was so clouded with the anger built in him since his childhood, that he only had some faint memories of what had just happened. He remembered that first punch and the shouting. He remembered that metallic taste in his mouth, like he was swallowing his own fury and frustration; the incessant flow of “why” that all revolved around his father and how he was ruining his life. Most of all he remembered Ga Eul face in his mind, spiraling with its own whispered
mantra: she was his, his to please, his to hurt, his to own, mind, body and will and nobody else would ever touch her.
Because he couldn’t deny it now… he wanted that girl. She was addictive. And, like a drug, he knew he needed to have his dose, until he was satisfied. He was holding her against him at that very moment and all he could imagine was to take her to the damn bed and make her forget even her own name, so she could only remember his and know who she belonged to. The angel, owned and broken by the devil.
In the end, it was all her fault. Again.
He nearly killed his father because of her. Again.
She forced him to loose control. Again.
He knew that the moment he let her free from his arms, she would run away from him. In her mind now, he was without doubt a cruel, heartless bastard and he deserved to be alone.
He would allow her to go home that evening, to think about what she saw. But he would come for her again. Until he won her over.
He inhaled deeply, loosening his grip and letting her go.
To her credit, she never tried to talk to him, just waiting for him to be ready, after that horrible fight.
“Are you all right?” she softly whispered, looking at him. There was a gentle look on her face, a soft gaze completely different from the disdain he was expecting to see. Was she stupid? Was she trying to comfort him even now?
“You should go home. My chauffeur will drive you.” Yi Jeong said, without answering her question.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
Perfect, that was the sound of pity. He had beaten his father up and she was pitying him. Wasn’t she supposed to shout at him, telling him what a horrible person he was, like he deserved?
“Go home”, he tried again, “I’m not a little child you have to watch.”
“Yes. You are right now.”
He clenched his fists, closing his eyes for a moment. He would not seize her, he would not show her he was something completely different from a child.
“Why aren’t you running away?”
They were now facing each other, and he could see she was still pale and shaken.
“Should I?” her voice was calm, despite of all.
“Aren’t you afraid of me? You saw what I did.” he bitterly smiled. If you could see my mind now, you would already be miles away.
“You would never hurt me. I know that.” Ga Eul was speaking slowly, choosing her words carefully. What had just happened had terrified her, but she wanted to understand before judging.
“I bet you never thought I could do something like I just did either.”
He looked up at her and continued, dead serious. “I don’t know if I would have stopped if you weren’t here. All I could think of, was hurting him. Breaking him. Even killing him.”
It was true. She was the cause of this madness, but she was also the one who saved the day. She had too much power over him.
“I know you would have stopped. You’re not like that, sunbae.”
Couldn’t she just stop with all the understanding and go away to let him think of his sins in peace?
Most of all, he knew having that kind of conversation in his bedroom was a very bad idea. They should go back to the workshop, where maybe the flashes of them entangled between his sheets would stop.
“You don’t know anything about me.” Yi Jeong softly declared. He had enough. If she didn’t want to go home, he would make her.
“Do you want to know why I forced you to come here?” he asked.
She slowly nodded, trying to calm down. It was over, she needed to breathe deeply and listen to him. That was the first time she ever saw his darkest face and it was truly scaring. She was starting to realise Yi Jeong had a whole world of suffering in his heart, something so deep and corrupted that had the power to overwhelm him. The sunbae she knew and liked, not the playboy, but the gentle Yi Jeong, was a mask to hide his dark side and she didn’t know how to help him, how to dissipate the darkness in his heart and turn
that mask into a reality.
“Because I wanted to hurt you.”
That sudden answer hit her full force. Hurt her? Was he still thinking about their bet? Even now? Was it really so important to him, to his pride?
“I wanted you to see me. What I will become. That’s my path, my future.” the cold Yi Jeong was back.
She couldn’t bear to see that empty look in his eyes.
“Only you can decide that. You don’t like what your father is. Why do you want to become like him?”
“We can’t fool our blood, I guess.”
Ga Eul’s eyes suddenly fired up and her features hardened. That stupid boy was really persuaded that his future was already laid before him? She mentally took back what she thought before about his pride: the guy didn’t have any. Only a complete spineless being could accept a destiny without fighting against him.
And something so weak like him expected to hurt her?
“Sorry to disappoint you then”, she snorted, “but I’m not hurt. It takes more than seeing an unfaithful man to break me. Who do you think I am, some silly princess who never saw the world?”
“And what are you, still twelve?” Ga Eul continued in complete disdain. “Blood? What does it mean? Blood isn’t your mind, your heart or your will. It doesn’t mean anything. You decide of your future. Yi Jeong sunbae, grow up! You’re just a coward.”
She took a step forward and he wondered if she was going to try slapping him. She sure looked angry enough. The look of soft understanding was faded from her eyes, replaced by wrath. He liked this more, seeing her all on fire. Even though her statements were insolents and were just fueling his own rage, it was fascinating. Her cheeks were a soft pink now, her eyes were shining and her usually sweet voice was raising, keeping the pace with her anger.
“Your father is unfaithful. Are you his clone? Nobody forced you to become a playboy, you did it. Because it’s easy, because you don’t have to think, to react. You can just stay there and cry about your unfair life. That’s ridicolous! You’re worth much more than that!”
“Can you still say that after what I just did? I beat him! I wanted to kill him with my own hands! I’m just a monster!” he shouted back. She was destroying his whole world with just few sentences, tearing up his mask, shattering his defensive walls. Damn, he really hated her, that little Miss Perfection. And he was not a coward!
“I don’t know why you did it, ok?” Ga Eul was shouting as well, glaring at him “You should never have, how could you beat your own father! But still, this isn’t the whole you! You made a mistake, but you stopped!”
“I didn’t stop! I didn’t want to! You made me! You, you, you, it’s always you! Always in my life, always looking at me like I’m some kind of Prince Charming! But I’ll make you stop!”
She stepped back, suddenly scared by the wrath she could see in his eyes. The moment she saw he extended his arm to her, she turned and ran. Pure istinct told her he was dangerous now, he wasn’t his usual self and maybe she was the one who pushed him over the edge with her words.
Like a deer in front of a lion, Ga Eul ran, trying to escape. But he was too fast. He caught her even before she could cross the door of the bedroom and enclosed her in his arms, her back pressed agains his chest, dragging her back near the bed.
“Let go of me!” She shrieked, tossing and turning.
“You’re afraid of me now? Taking back all you said about me being a good guy?” Yi Jeong was holding her firmly in place, now whispering in her ear.
“Didn’t you say I would never hurt you?” he turned her in his embrace, and grabbed the back of her neck like he did in the car, forcing her to look at him. He could see she was scared, but that emotion was quickly giving way to fury. She wasn’t going to surrender, not yet. This angered him even more. Did she really want him to make her bow down? Because he could. And he would. He needed to. “I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so much, I want to see you cry. I want you to see hell, like I do everyday.”
“Why? What did I do to you to deserve this?” she was still trying to free herself, not willing to give up. Who did he think he was to treat her like that? She was trying to help him!
“You tried to change me. And I can’t stand that. I can’t stand your laughter, I can’t stand your cheerfulness, I can’t stand your hope!”
“That’s pathetic.” she hissed in his face “Let me go, stupid F4!”
At that he smiled, tightening his grasp on her neck and her waist. “You know, you’re right. I’m a F4. And do you know what they say about us?”
His gaze darkened as he shifted his eyes to her lips. “That we always get what we want!”
He leaned down and tried to kiss her. To satisfy the need he was feeling almost ever since he knew her. He wanted to taint her, to erase her smile.
But she resisted, raising her arms, twisting her face, tossing and turning and in the end she finally broke free, only to trip on the bed and falling on it with a loud cry.
She tried to get up fast, but he was already there.
Even with only one hand, he was stronger than her. She fought as much as she could, shrieking and trying to hit him, but Yi Jeong used his weight to press her under him, pinning her hands above her head with his left hand.
Ga Eul’s eyes still failed to show him the faintest shade of fear and he smiled at that. As a try he used his knee to force her legs to spread, while looking at her. Still no fear.
“This is going to be interesting.” he whispered, smiling at her outraged expression.
Then he descended on her.