Yi Jeong didn’t want to rush things. He knew this was Ga Eul’s first time and he didn’t want to scare her.
Thinking about it, he was actually glad that the night before they didn’t manage to end what they had started. Now it seemed more right, now that he told her how much she meant for him.
Ga Eul was in his arms, her eyes closed, her lips melted with his own and her hands firmly clinging on his shoulders. Feeling her so near was almost more than he could bear, but he had to take it slowly.
Then Ga Eul’s hands moved under the edge of his coat and she pushed it down. His arms istinctively spread and he could feel the garment slipping off and falling to the floor. When he sensed her fingers closing on the first one of his shirt’s buttons, his hands suddenly rose up to stop her.
“Don’t.” he gasped breaking the kiss. “Don’t do this.”
“Why?” she murmured, her eyes still closed.
“Because if you keep it up, I can’t control myself.” he honestly replied. She was driving him crazy with her boldness and the worst part was she wasn’t even aware of it.
“Is it a bad thing?” she asked, opening her eyes. Her smile was hesitant and he could feel she was slightly shaking in his arms.
His expression softened when he understood why she was acting that way.
“You don’t have to prove me anything, you know. Don’t force yourself. I promised you, do you remember?”
He stroke her cheek, smiling at her suddenly unsure face. “I won’t do anything you don’t want.”
He took her by the hand and guided her through the house, to her dining room, to the couch he was sitting on the evening before. Maybe the chairs would have been safer, but he was honest enough with himself to admit he wanted to keep her near him.
When he reached out to turn on the light, she stopped him, shaking her head. He squeezed her hand and didn’t say anything.
He could understand her need to stay in the dark, and after all the faint light coming from the street through the windows was enough to see. The darkness was comfortable and it gave an invisibility illusion.
If she was afraid, he didn’t want to pressure her into talking to him in full light.
“What is it, Ga Eul yang?” he gently asked when she sat beside him, his arms around her. “Are you scared?”
“I don’t know.” she answered, trying to relax in his embrace. “I guess I’m just nervous. It’s not that I don’t want to, but it’s different from…”
“…yesterday.” he finished for her.
She didn’t reply and he innerly sighed. That country bumpkin was surely something. It was the first time he was actually refraining himself for a girl’s sake and, worst of all, he wasn’t even thinking about trying to persuade her. It was an important step for Ga Eul and he wanted her to be perfectly comfortable with it, even it meant to wait and die out of frustration.
How pathetic can I be, he thought stroking her hair, being in love will really ruin me. The Casanova restrained by a girl.
“You said you aren’t sure you can control yourself.” she whispered, her eyes closed, not bearing to look at him. “I’m… not sure either.”
His heart started pounding faster, as she kept on speaking.
“I never felt anything like this before. Yesterday it was all blurred, like the storm outside covered my senses, but now I’m full awake and I don’t know what to do.”
“Don’t worry about it.” he tried to reassure her, still stroking her hair.
“I’m not worried Yi Jeong sunbae. I’m… embarassed.”
She stiffened in his arms and he knew she was blushing. Always the same, silly, sweet country bumpkin, he thought with a smile.
“I like it when you kiss me. I… like it when you… touch me.” she was stumbling over words. “But I don’t know… maybe it’s too soon?”
“Maybe you’re right.” he told her with a soothing voice, cursing himself silently. He really was a martyr.
“I mean, just yesterday we were locked here and you told me… what you told me. And the last week we were in your workshop! And we barely saw each other in the past six months and I know you’ve been surrounded by women and you never thought about me, and now this, and I can’t understand and…”
“Ga Eul yang.” he interrupted her, placing a finger on her lips. She was panicking and as much as it was fun watching her blabber that way, he had to stop her before she went too deep in “the other women” path.
“Do you remember our first date? When I helped you with that worthless guy?”
She nodded and he smiled at her. “I like you since a long time, Ga Eul yang, I just ignored it until now. I remember that when Jun Pyo told us about the double date, I was surprised that the thought of you with another man could be so annoying. When we learnt that that guy was ignoring you, I was angry. I wanted to beat him up so hard he would have regretted the day he decided to make you suffer.”
She was listening in silence, leaned against his shoulder and feeling his hand in her hair. It was beautiful.
“I did my research on him, and found out where he worked. Meeting you on the street was a coincidence, but I decided I wanted you to have your revenge. A guy like that wasn’t worth to linger in your thoughts and you needed a clean cut to delete him from your life. It’s just that… the plan backfired on me.”
He lowered his head and raised her face to look at her. “I realised for the first time I could be in love with you that night.”
When you awoke the music in me, he thought, but he refrained from speaking out loud. Perhaps another time.
The look in her eyes was so surprised he wondered if it had been a good idea to tell her. And still, she needed to understand that his feelings for her weren’t as sudden as she thought.
“I never felt like that since a long time, and it scared me. I thought you weren’t for me, that I would only have made you suffer and I withdrew without even trying to pursue you. It was an egoistic choice, but it was the only one I could make at the time. And so I tried to go on with my life, burying every thought of you deep inside of me.”
He sighed, bending his head behind, against the couch. “When Jun Pyo found himself engaged, I had the confirmation I had made the right choice. And when I broke my hand, I really sighed in relief at the thought we never went so far as to fall seriously in love. But it was a lie, because I was already in love with you. I was just denying it with myself, to avoid any suffering and the best way was hiding love with disdain. That’s why I started hating you.”
He smiled looking at the dark ceiling and his voice lightened up. “And now here we are. I suppose that means that I lost and you won. So, please don’t think that this is sudden. Our being together can have happened unexpectedly, but the feelings I have for you are from way back.”
Ga Eul just nodded but she didn’t reply to him and that alone was enough to tell him how much she was scared of what they were about to do. His little white angel would have never missed a chance to cry or show how much moved she was for such a confession.
“You can be proud of yourself.” he declared after some minute of silence. He couldn’t stand to feel her so tense. “You’re the first one that ever resisted my appeal. I’m deeply wounded.”
It worked. She raised her gaze and chuckled, slightly poking him in the arm.
“Yesterday it was easier.” she sighed.
“That’s because we were going with the flow. We were very emotional.”
She looked at him with a sort of apologetic smile “Am I thinking too much?”
Yi Jeong kissed her on the forehead holding her tightly. “I like it when you think. It means you have a brain. It’s refreshing.”
“I’m ruining it all, I know.” she broke free from his hug, but he didn’t let her stand up, grabbing her shoulders.
“Ga Eul yang, you’re not ruining anything.” he gently raised her face, so she could look at him. “We can take it as slow as you want. There’s no need to rush. What I told you is true, I really want you, but I can wait as long as you feel like.”
His eyes were so kind and his voice was so sweet she couldn’t resist. She leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Then another one.
Then she closed her eyes and kissed him again, slipping a hand behind his neck and pulling his face to hers.
Yi Jeong kissed her back trying to keep control but when he felt her tongue lightly brushing his lips, he couldn’t stand it anymore. Before he knew what he was doing, Ga Eul was sat on his lap, straddling him, and they were kissing furiously.
As soon as he realised her skirt had completely risen up and her legs were now only covered by her tights, his instinct took over and he grabbed her waist while pushing his hips against her.
When he felt her moving with him, his heart threatened to explode and his hands lowered and seized her bottom, pressing her on him with more strenght, again and again, until they were moving together so perfectly that he couldn’t stop wondering how it could get better. It was already so good and they were still fully clothed.
Ga Eul chose that moment to break the kiss with a pleasure moan and when he saw her closed eyes in the dim light, her lips slightly parted, her slender figure above him, it completely destroyed his hold on himself.
He rushed on her neck, kissing and suckling and his hands grasped the edge of her shirt, tugging it off the skirt.
Ga Eul wasn’t thinking anymore, all she could do was feel: his hands on her back holding her in place over him, his lips on her neck, his hips thrusting forward, hitting her so near her center that she wanted to scream. She arched her back, tossing her head and her hands pressed his head against her neck, like a very willing vampire victim.
“Ga Eul…” came the muffled groan “If you don’t want this, tell me to stop. Stop me now Ga Eul.”
It would have killed him to stop now, he wasn’t even really sure he could. She was just too good and he couldn’t imagine to stop kissing her, to stop touching her and go away leaving her there. Because it was out of question that he could stay there to sleep, if Ga Eul wanted to preserve her virginity. Not after feeling her moving with him that way.
“Don’t… Don’t stop…”
He nearly missed those relieving words, strangled as they were between her moans of pleasure, but when he finally understood what she was saying, his brain shut down for good.
His heart beating faster than he ever imagined, he quickly removed his sweater and he guided her hands on the buttons of his shirt.
“Take it off.” He whispered, before cupping her face with his hands and sealing her lips with a kiss so fierce she felt like they were melted together.
Her hands on his buttons were shaking a bit, but what she was feeling was so overwhelming it couldn’t be stopped. Button after button, she opened the shirt and when she was done, Yi Jeong helped her taking it off. It wasn’t over and she knew it. He made her grasp the edge of the T-shirt he was wearing and, deeply breathing in, she tossed that aside too.
“Touch me.” he asked, guiding her hands on his bare chest. Little, curious, fingers climbed up his torso, brushing his shoulders, caressing his neck and then trailing down again, until her palms lowered enough to rest on his waist. Yi Jeong wasn’t even trying to suppress his moans, he wanted her to understand exactly what she was doing to him. And, truth to be told, knowing she had such power over him, was exciting. Her lightest touch could make the muscles under her fingers twitch and she couldn’t have enough of the smooth sensation of his skin.
With a quick movement, Yi Jeong grasped her shirt and pulled it off, along with her sweatshirt. He didn’t want to waste anymore time, he needed to feel her.
Ga Eul blushed again when she saw him staring at her that way, now that she only had her bra on, but she had no time to think because he rushed down again to kiss her, while his hands roamed on her back, until they stopped at her bra hook, unclasping it and removing it from her. His lips hardened on hers when he touched her breast for the first time and his hips started moving against hers once again.
Breaking the kiss, Yi Jeong bent down making her arch behind and placed light kisses all over, until she was completely out of breath.
And then he suddenly stood up, bringing her with him, grabbing her bottom and forcing her legs to lace up on his waist.
“My angel…” he whispered, holding her. “Come with me.”
Almost never stopping kissing her, he brought Ga Eul to her bedroom and gently placed her on the bed, until she was laying down.
Just a few moments later what was left of their clothes was scattered on the floor.
“Did you bring the…” she asked, between the kisses.
“Yes, I did. We won’t stop this time.” He never made the same mistake twice.
“Good.” she answered panting. “Because I don’t want to.”
Her last word faded in a new moan as soon as she felt his fingers between her legs and the burning feeling she was harbouring since the beginning finally found its relief, while she was clinging at him like a survivor with a rock in the sea.
Feeling him settling between her legs, she opened her eyes and spread her arms to hold him, welcoming his weight on her, knowing it was really going to happen.
So Yi Jeong and Chu Ga Eul.
It must be really a dream, she briefly thought before closing her eyes again.
“Slowly…” he whispered gently pushing little by little and trying to control himself, to not be overcome by the overwhelming feeling he was experiencing. When he was finally inside of her, he stopped to look at Ga Eul. Her face was stained with tears and he would have pulled out immediately if her hands hadn’t been there on his hips, to stop him.
“I knew it would have hurt.” she murmured, trying to stop weeping. “I don’t want you to stop.”
“But you’re crying.” he protested, his heart in pain.
“It will go away. Please Yi Jeong. Don’t stop now.”
Her hands pressed his back against her, and he surrendered to his body and to her will moving again, lifting her legs to thrust deeper, until he heard her new cries and he understood she wasn’t in pain anymore.
“My precious…” he was moaning holding her in his arms, feeling like drowning in an ocean of passion.
“My angel… my love…”
Lost in her emotions, Ga Eul didn’t realise what had happened, until she felt him stopping moving and his voice near her ear, in her bedroom darkness.
“Say that again.” he asked, kissing her neck.
“I love you.” she repeated, only half conscious she had really told him that some seconds ago.
“Say that again.” he asked again, holding her tighter.
“I love you.”
“Say that again!” his thrust resumed and she raised her arms to surround his neck.
“I love you Yi Jeong!” she cried, feeling the tide rising again.
He kissed her deeply, riding the wave together and when he finally collapsed on her, Ga Eul hold him tightly, weeping again, this time of pure joy and happiness when she heard his faint whisper in her ear repeating the same words again and again, until she fell asleep.
“I love you too, Ga Eul.”