Chapter 12

Chapter 11

“So what was with all the dragging back there? Are you in hurry to get rid of me?” It seemed like when a girl was with an F4 she was automatically reduced to a doll to drag here and there. Jun Pyo was doing that everytime with Jan Di, Yi Jeong had that bad habit with her and she was sure Woo Bin and Ji Hoo weren’t an exception too. Sure, Woo Bin would have done it while winking and blabbering some of his english sentences and Ji Hoo would have done it gently, but the result would have been the same.
That’s what you get when you grow up like a spoiled brat, Ga Eul thought sighing. Just for a second the image of Jun Pyo and Jan Di crossed her mind and a subtle voice in her head whispered her that he was dragging her friend around exactly in the same way Yi Jeong was doing with her. And Jun Pyo was in love with Jan Di. Ga Eul banished that thought from her mind before even ending it. She didn’t want to think or to hope, not after that disastrous night. She still wasn’t sure she had forgiven him.

On the other hand, Yi Jeong was thinking hard since ever he had went to retrieve her. He still didn’t know where he found the strenght to not kiss her when she had fallen in his arms, but he knew that it hurt like hell. Just remembering the glowing of her eyes when she had raised her gaze was enough to give him goosebumps even now and to raise the beating of his heart.
Honestly he couldn’t stand it. He wasn’t fifteen anymore, she wasn’t Eun Jae and if he wanted to kiss her so badly, why the hell couldn’t he just do it? He almost raped her some nights before, sure a kiss couldn’t be worse than that. The worst that could happen was to be rejected, even though he was pretty sure Ga Eul wouldn’t have done that. After all she liked him. She said so. So why did she resist so much the other night?
Yi Jeong suppressed a frustratred groan. That girl was sure a strange sort of puzzle.
“Next time I’ll ask Woo Bin sunbae or Ji Hoo sunbae, if it bothers you so much.” Ga Eul muttered when she heard no reply from him.
Another thing to think about. Why was he so angry at Woo Bin? He didn’t do anything, he was just being his usual self, all smiles and winks to a girl. And still seeing him smiling at her… and let’s talk about that “Whatever you say Ga Eul yang.” ? Where did that sudden intimacy come from? He was the one that always was with Ga Eul, he was the one who drove her, he was the one who rescued her from the street, he was the one who went on those fake dates and he was the one who received chocolates and arms warmers! Yes, So Yi Jeong, not Song Woo Bin. His friend had no rights to smile at her. None at all.

Ga Eul sighed and gave up. Yi Jeong had been silent since that unfortunate fall near her house, and he almost never uttered a word at the meeting either. And now, he was mute as well. What was happening? Was he planning something nasty again? Wait, was he even driving her home? She suddenly turned her head to watch out of the window with a frightened look, but when she recognized the familiar streets that lead to her house, she calmed down.
She knew they had to talk. He had asked for some time and she thought she granted him enough, so now it was her turn to get something from him. Like answers. She deserved them, right?
“Did you go visit your father? Is he alright?” she didn’t turn her head while asking this dreaded question.
She didn’t want to look at him because his eyes always had the power to confuse her and now she wanted to be strong and firm. She wouldn’t have allowed him to escape anymore.
Yi Jeong breathed deeply when he heard that question. There they were, he thought, the “talk” moment. He knew she wanted to know why he had suddenly went crazy that night, but what could he tell her? “Well, you know Ga Eul yang, it’s just that I want to kiss you until you are out of breath and then keep on kissing you, I want you in my bed, I want to hear you moaning my name, I want you under me or even straddling me if you like it better, that’s no problem at all, and yes, I want it many many times.”
Yeah sure, way to go Yi Jeong. And still, he didn’t know how else to explain it to her. He never had to explain those sort of things to anyone, it wasn’t needed. Usually when he wanted a girl, the girl wanted him too, even more than him, it had always been that way. Until Eun Jae, who disappeared and now her.
But with Eun Jae it had been different… he never felt that burning desire, it was more of a warm feeling in his heart knowing that she was there for him and she cared for him. She was his childhood friend and his love for her had always been the tender type. Well, more or less. After all when he had sex for the first time, it was Eun Jae’s face that came to his mind. He recalled how scared he was to have thought of her in that way, it almost seemed unnatural, like he tainted her. And now Ga Eul… well, thinking of it, he wasn’t afraid of tainting her, he actually wanted to, and very much. So that meant he wasn’t in love with her, was it? Yi Jeong felt relieved after his perfect reasoning. Like he told himself before, it was just curiosity. Not love.
“Yes I went. He was alright, no injuries.” the answer came after a long time, just when Ga Eul was about to ask him again. Maybe he was willing to talk now, maybe he recognized he couldn’t avoid it anymore.
“Did you apologize?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Yi Jeong slowed the car down and turned to look at her. She was looking outside the window, her hands on her skirt, apparently resolute in not looking at him at all. Well, two could play that game.
“He doesn’t deserve it.” he answered turning his eyes back on the road.
“You punched and kicked him. He’s your father, of course you have to apologize.”
There she was, the lecture again. Yi Jeong’s hands clenched the steering-wheel feeling the familiar anger rise in him.
“He’s my father just because he was in my mother’s bed the night I was conceived. He’s never been more than that to me.”
“Yi Jeong sunbae!”
He grinned, knowing she was blushing right now. Embarassing her was turning out to be his favourite hobby.
“He never did anything for me, except teaching me pottery and even that was because the So family needed a talented heir. I actually think he hates me as much as I hate him. There was never much love in my family.”
The orange Lotus stopped moving and Ga Eul realised they were now parked in front of her house.
“Here we are Ga Eul yang. You can go home now.”
She turned to him, her cheeks still coloured with a soft pink. “Are you trying to get rid of me, sunbae?”
“I’m trying to send you to sleep, and go to sleep myself since tomorrow we will be pretty busy.”
But it was clear she had no intention of stepping out of his car. She leaned more comfortably on the seat and folded her arms.
“I think you’re trying to run away. I gave you enough days to think about what happened, but now I want some answers.”
He looked at her, her determined gaze, that firm look in her eyes. She was serious, like a teacher waiting to hear her students admit a prank. Well, he sure wasn’t a child anymore.
“You can’t always have what you want, you know?”
“You’re really the wrong person to tell me that.” Ga Eul was getting angry. After all he did, after the way he behaved with her, he still didn’t want to give her an explanation? Oh, but she wasn’t going out of that car before hearing one, did you get it So Yi Jeong?
He grinned again, enjoying the view of her heating up. “That just means we’re different. I get what I want, you don’t. Life is unfair, isn’t it?”
Her lips stretched in a thin line, much resembling the way they did when she ordered him not to drink that night. Which he didn’t by the way. He had kept his promise to her, even though he didn’t know why.
“You are going to explain to me. You are going to explain every detail of that evening, you owe me!”
“And why’s that?”
“Why?” her voice was rising, as well as her temper. Was he playing stupid or what? “You tried to rape me! That’s why!”
He snorted, waving his hand with nonchalance. “What a big word Ga Eul yang. I just meant to scare you, that’s all.”
“You’re lying and you know it.” she replied, almost shaking in fury. “Still acting like a kid, aren’t you? Still avoiding your responsabilities?”
“I’m not avoiding anything!” he raised his voice as well. Like every time, she was managing to angry him. Damn that girl, why couldn’t he keep his temper around her?
“Yes you are!” she was shouting now, her eyes on fire. “Look what you did to your father! And you still won’t admit you need to apologize! You could have killed him!”
“He would have deserved it!” he shouted back, completely loosing his coolness. “He deserves to die, he deserves it since a long time! Do you know how many times my mother tried to kill herself because of him? Do you know how many times, since I was fifteen, I had to go and interrupt his nights with the other women, or my mother would have died? Do you have any idea of what it means living in the constant fear I will go home one day and someone will tell me my mother finally succeeded in committing suicide?”
He swallowed hard, struggling to regain control but he made the mistake of looking at Ga Eul. Her eyes showed shock for his sudden outburst, but a slow comprehension was dawning in them, turning the shock into pity. He couldn’t stand it.
“Get out.” he ordered.
She didn’t answer, just looking at him.
“Get out!” he shouted.
“No.” her reply was low, but resolute.
“Get out and go home before you regret it.”
“I can’t leave you alone like this.”
He burst out of the car, going to her side and opening the door.
“I told you to get out!” He grabbed her arms and pulled her out by force, hurling her against the car. “You have to do as I tell you, do you get it?”
He had lowered his voice since they were now in the open, but the look in his eyes wasn’t any less threatening.
“I will always do what I think is right.” she was whispering as well, staring at him but her look was quieter than his. “Yi Jeong sunbae… I will never become an obedient doll.”
“You won’t, will you?” he grinded his teeth. “No you won’t… You will just make me go crazy.”
He abruptly let her go, and walked to his side of the car.
“Now go home.” he told her before turning on the car once again.

Just a second later, before she could react, he was already driving away leaving her there.

***

Ga Eul opened her door, kicking her shoes off, and leaning on the wall, her eyes closed. She really didn’t know what to think, his confession had caught her completely by surprise.
She was there, trying to collect her ideas, when she heard a loud knock at the door.
The spyhole told her it was Yi Jeong and she opened the door, suddenly worried.
“Yi Jeong sunbae, what hap…”
And his mouth came down crushing on hers, while he pushed her back in her apartment, shutting the door behind him.

Chapter 13

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