What do I do… what can I do?
Eilan was in her bed, restless. The moon was high in the sky, but she couldn’t sleep; everytime she tried to relax, a pair of red glowing eyes showed up in her mind. It was useless.
The feelings from earlier… his hands on her skin, his lips on hers… The girl kicked her sheets down her legs feeling like she was burning with fever. Everytime she thought about Karlis, about what he did to her, her heart skipped a beat and her stomach twisted like she was going to jump from the highest cliff of Kuriullu Mountain.
It wasn’t the first time for her and she wasn’t a naive little girl who didn’t know what to expect from a man, she just couldn’t believe she was feeling such desire for… an Asmodian. A man with claws and a mane. An enemy.
To be honest, Eilan didn’t know where she found the strenght to run away from him and she was regretting it, in a way.
At least if I had yielded before, I wouldn’t be here now, asking myself if do it or not… As if I really had a choice.
Oh yes, she had a choice, the choice to do what she should have done from the beginning… call the Guards, have him arrested. It was her only way of escape now and it was like saying that she had none because she would have never exposed Karlis like that. She knew she couldn’t.
Let’s be honest Eilan… what do you feel for him? Why do you care so much?
Yes, good questions… too bad she didn’t have an answer. She healed him and that always created a bond between the doctor and the patient but deep inside her Eilan knew it wasn’t the only reason. Karlis fascinated her. His hands, his eyes, his voice, even his smell… it was like he was a magnet.
Eilan stood up from the bed and went to the window, opening it. It was a warm night and the moon was shining up there, like she was smiling to her.
It was useless to look for an answer if the question wasn’t the right one. It didn’t matter if he was an Asmodian and it was time to admit it. She didn’t care in the slightest. Her body longed for his embrace, her mouth were still burning with his kiss and she knew she wanted more. The real question was another one.
If she really wanted him, just like he wanted her… why did she run away? Why reject him? Eilan sat down on the windowsill and leaned against the wall, sighing. Why did she run… the answer was crystal clear, if only she had the guts to admit it.
I ran away because if we slept together… I might fall in love with him.
It was impossible. It was madness. It couldn’t happen.
And she had no choice now.
She knew Karlis wasn’t joking when he said he would have come for her… she knew his character well enough to tell he was dead serious. It was flattering to know she could inspire such desire in a man and that sheer thought made her shiver in anticipation. He was dangerous and he was out of her reach. That alone made him exciting. But Eilan didn’t only like his body… it would have been easy otherwise, she would have satisfied her craving and then kept on living when he was gone. No, there was more. She liked his mind too. The passion in his voice, the steel in his eyes, the strenght in his arms, the way he
thought, the way he…
Eilan went back to her bed, fully knowing she would have just stared at the ceiling until morning. She didn’t have to think about what to do though. In her heart, she already made up her mind.
“Did you decide what you want?” The question was in Asmodian, she noticed Karlis would always talk in his own language when he was tense; it was like stressing his power over her, and in the meantime he felt more at ease, not having to look for the exact words in the Elyos language.
It was early in the morning and as soon as she could, Eilan had run to the cave, her heart beating soundly. Karlis was already waiting for her of course, she could never take him by surprise. He was an Assassin, a deadly Daeva.
“Does it matter what I want? Would you let me go, if I asked you?”
He didn’t touch her, not yet. He was near the farthest wall of the cave, not making a move towards her. His eyes were burning red, as the night before.
“… no.” The answer was firm and serious, just like Eilan was expecting. The Assassin took some slow step towards her, never parting his stare from her. “I won’t tell you any lie. I wouldn’t let you go.”
“I know.” Her voice wasn’t shacking and he noticed it.
“You want me.” He declared, stopping some metres from her, completely sure of what he was saying.
“Yes.” Eilan nodded, still not moving from where she was.
“Do I scare you?”
“I’m scared of myself.”
Karlis extended an arm, offering her his hand. “Don’t be afraid. Come to me Bright Eyes.”
His eyes, so intense. His voice, so sincere. His actions, so direct and honest. Eilan walked some steps and took his hand.
It was like burning. Every inch of skin he was touching, every kiss, every movement, it was like burning in the hottest of volcanos.
Her shirt was on the ground as well as his one and she was savouring the smooth skin of his chest while he was kissing her, so deeply she almost couldn’t breathe. It looked like he wanted to eat her, to swallow her whole, to touch everything at the same time. She never felt so desired in her whole life. It was lust, pure naked lust and she completely reciprocated it.
Acting on pure istinct, she lowered his pants with a resolute movement and just in the same time he kicked them off, now naked before her. He was muscolar but yet toned and his muscles twitched everytime her fingers brushed them. To have so much power over him, it was exciting. To know just her touch was enough to make him burn.
And then she stopped thinking when his mouth lowered on her breast, when his hands almost tore her trousers, when he lifted her up, forcing her legs on his waist, leaning her against the wall.
They weren’t talking, just drowning in each other’s desire, kissing like they wanted to melt in each other’s arms, holding like they never wanted to let go, just wanting to feel each other, again and again, to donate everything, to get everything, to burn until the end.
And when they awakened from a short, deep slumber and Karlis drew her in his arms again, Eilan understood that it wasn’t over. The thirst was not quenched, the hunger wasn’t appeased. What they felt, what they did, it wasn’t enough.
For neither of them.