Well, I can’t believe it. I actually won’t until I’m on that flight on saturday.
Yeah that’s right, I’m leaving on saturday for the UK.
Is it true? Is it not?
These last months were busy. For the first time in my life, I put out my claws and never let go of what I wanted. And what I wanted was to leave. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, I don’t know if it’s a mistake or not, but I don’t care. It’s just something I need to do.
To be honest, I’ll be very surprised if it turns out to be the successful choice, it would be a sort of miracle: starting over in a new town is never easy, go figure in a new country with all sort of barriers between me and the people! But I’m so excited about this, I can’t wait.
Preparations are almost done, now all I need to do is pack. I managed to find a room to sleep in, after 2 months of looking for it, but I’m rather satisfied: it’s a double room and the owner looks very friendly. And she has cats! Three cats! At least I won’t miss my pets too much ^^
My husband got me a laptop, a tiny thing which perfectly suits my needs, so I will be available through skype and FB and I’ll be able to talk to him and not feel too much alone.
Lonelyness scares me the most. I like to be alone, but I think this will be a hard month. I’m happy I chose to go near where Allan lives. As much as I know he works too much to disturb him, it’s nice to know I’ll have a friend near. And I can’t wait to meet him! After so long, after talking to him so much, I look forward to finally meet him face to face.
That’s it, I’m really leaving. Success or not, I’m satisfied. If it works, then my life will completely change. If it doesn’t, I’ll know I tried. I think much of my problems right now are due to the fact I feel stuck. With this trip, I’m unstucking myself and truth to be told, that’s a success already. I feel that if I have to come back after failing in the UK, I’ll finally be able to build something here without the constant “What If…?” questions.
Now every piece of clothes I put in the bag are a step towards freedom.
I’ll miss home. I’ll miss my pets, my little Spam, I’ll miss my routine. And I’ll miss my husband. I already know the first few days I’ll fall asleep at night after crying my eyes out, wishing for nothing more than having him by my side. But I know this as well: when I come back, whatever the outcome, I’ll be a better person and I’ll make it worthwhile.
UK, I’m coming. Are you ready for me? :)