Back home

Well, it’s over, at least for now.
I had my surgery on November 23th and now I’m home.
Turns out it was more complicated than expected, since I had two fibromas, and not just one. The other one was smaller, and hiding behind the biggest one, so it took extra time and effort to take both out. A surgery that was supposed to last 2 hours lasted 4… and since two years ago I was on the other side of the barricade, waiting for my husband to come out the surgery room, I can fully understand my family’s pain.
When they took me in the surgery room, I was nervous. I was tied to the “bed”, for my own security they said, but to be honest being almost naked, tied to a bed, legs spread and just a blanket to cover me, was awful.
Then a doctor (the surgeon), injected me something and when I asked what it was, he smiled and said: “Something that will make your head spin a bit”
A bit? The whole room started moving lol. That was the moment I was happy to be tied up! And then… poof. I was gone.
Next thing I remember was a blinding pain, and me trying to curl up (I wasn’t tied up anymore), crying and weeping because of the pain. If I have to describe it, I can only say that I was groaning like a wounded animal: low and from the deep of my throat, not even able to move and just praying that it would soon be over.
I remember crying for my mother, like she was able to magically heal me or just… to have her there, like always in my life when I was in pain. (excuse me while I go blow my nose. Thinking about that part still makes me want to weep again).

Then I heard a nurse saying “This girl is really in pain. But we already gave her the morphine” and a doctor replying, with a really sympathetic voice “Give her the rest” and then telling me “Don’t worry, I’ll call your mother now”.
Then the pain was gone and I was asleep again. When I woke up, I was in my hospital bed again, and my husband was there. He told me everything was ok, and even in my sleepy, confused mind, I smiled. I remember asking him to immediately tell me if something was wrong. “I don’t want to believe everything is ok, just to be told later something went wrong. I want to know the truth when I wake up.”
So when he told me everything was ok, I believed him. I know this can sound a bit dramatic, but we’re talking about my uterus and if something was wrong, then I would never have children of my own. And believe me, for me it would be worse than dying. So yes, I wanted to know if everything was ok or not.
I slept peacefully that night, thanks to the morphine and the next day I was supposed to go home. When I tried to stand up though, I had to lean on a nurse not to pass out and fall on the floor. The wounds hurted and I was really dizzy. Turned out I had a bit of a fever and so they decided I had to stay until it was gone.
It was a pain, but to be honest, I’m almost glad I stayed there. I couldn’t stand up without hurting, sitting was a pain, even eating was beyond my strenght. At least I was in the hospital, with really competent nurses ready to come everytime I needed them. They were kind and they were cheerful, something you really need when you’re in the hospital, so my time there, though boring, wasn’t the pain I feared it to be.
A special thanks must go to my smartphone that allowed me to read, browse and not die of boredom. And to my dear Daemion who really, really, has a great part in my staying positive and quiet. Talking to him during those days was better than a medicine. Thank you sweetie :*
And then finally it was sunday and I was sent home. I could walk, though slowly, I could stand, sit and eat. A miracle :D
My mother stayed two more days but on wednesday she had to go.
I’m now full of medicines to take, a daily injection to make (tomorrow is the last one finally!), and yesterday I had to take something that will put me in menopausal state for 5 months. Doctors said I will heal better that way. Sigh.
Now I just have to wait. No intercourses for a couple of months, until doctors say it’s ok and then wait a year to try and get pregnant again.

Can I say the worst is done? Yes, I guess I can. Finally :)

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