Which will be?

Allright, my Aion diary continues.
I finally managed to reach the Mastery level in Alchemy, just to find out that I will probably never be able to craft the items I now can craft, due to lack of recipes. It was a satisfaction nonetheless, something I wanted to do since a long time. And the Master robe looks good on Amarien ^^
Eilan is working towards her Master level too… I just need to complete her quest. I don’t even want to think about how much money I spent for that, or if being a Master will be useful for her but, as an addict pve player, that was something that just had to be done. Somehow I will make some money out of it ^^
Aaaaand tomorrow double exp starts and Anthiah will grow up. I don’t know when I will stop with her, I need her to learn the summon ability at least. And if things go like I think, I’ll be unable to stop, I like her playstyle too much!

Apparently the next two weeks will be all about pve in Highlanders. With double drop, my mates want some good piece of equip and I was already told they plan to run BT every evening after ddg. Which means no pvp at all.
Now, not that I’m complaining (if I get a spot in the groups and especially if some eternal piece drops), but I have a plan here and two weeks without pvp will slow it down!
And to be honest I like pvping, it’s fun, especially when you listen to TS and you hear the people commenting and laughing. I do feel a lot guilty though. Maybe I won’t be an Highlander for long and I’m using them to reach my own goal, since I can’t do it alone. I didn’t tell them of course, but if things go like planned… well, it’s early for that.
Sometimes I have second thoughts, I must be honest. It just looks unfair towards them even though I would still talk with them and probably play with them as well, like Sachiel and Animale do. And so, the question rises “why leave?”
Let’s be honest here: my friend and I almost never meet ingame, due to our different schedule. I log in, he’s at work. I go to work, he comes back home. I log in after dinner, he goes to bed. We manage to squeeze in the time for Mentor, and of course the time to talk to each other, but the time to actually game together, that’s hard.
Maybe I’m focusing on something that won’t really have an impact on our being together, since we already do that. Maybe it’s just pride that drives me, the “he did it, I can do it too” thought. I know I felt a lot lonely when he left for Havoc, I was even resentful for a while because he plainly ignored me for the first few days, while he was adjusting. That was the period I tried an Asmodian on Spatalos and almost stayed there for good… Eilan was still making me angry everytime I looked at her, and now she was alone again. I couldn’t stand it.
Well, I came back anyway thanks to a delirious day where I grouped up with people and fell in love with my cleric again, and that’s when I decided to change… I’m still walking down that path, I’m just wondering what the result will be. Will I really leave my current legion to try and join his? It takes guts to do it, both to leave and to apply to a new legion, people I know will like scan me with x-ray before thinking about accepting me or not. The result of course is far from certain, I could be rejected as well and be alone again (no way I would go back to Highlanders after leaving. I would die in shame). That would probably mean quitting for me.
A little encouragement would be nice, something like “I can’t wait to have you there” but as I already stated, my friend is not the type who talks. He once told me he doesn’t say what he really thinks because he wants people to do what makes them happy and not what they think makes him happy. So I don’t count on that, even if it would be nice to hear.

There is another consideration. I never, ever, was part of the #1 legion of the server. In Lineage2 it just wasn’t possible because to be accepted in RedSky or Unforgiven you had to be good/top pvpers and that meant cheating and botting and no way I would have ever did that. Not to mention the requirements in gear or attendance to every single event. Hey, I had a life outside L2.
In Aion, I know it’s possible with a lot less effort. It’s tempting. Just for once wear an important tag, one that is recognized and respected? Yes, definitely a temptation. And I feel so bad about it, about leaving the people who believed in me and helped me equip, befriended me, gave me all I have now. It’s like a betrayal.
Looks like I didn’t learn anything from my experience with PoE, since I grew attached to people again. But talking to you day after day, laughing, playing, joking, gaming together has that effect.
I feel a bit lucky and a bit unlucky. I met good people, people I like and that’s a pull in one direction. And then there is him, my friend, which is a strong pull in the opposite direction. Which will be?


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